This resonated so deeply with me. After newly recovering from an ed the resurgence of thinness is something that has really hit me. I look back on older videos of myself and think I used to be so disciplined rather than acknowledging how everything else in my life crumbled. But at the time because of how thin I was I felt beautiful like I’d won so nothing else mattered. Now I can feel myself slowly sliding back into bad habits. What I will say was a big revelation that helped my recovery was acknowledging my existence as a black woman. I attended the Wizkid concert back in 2021 and I remember seeing thicker body types, different body types, different forms of black women and I was in awe. Living in the western world and all over social media we’re constantly exposed to the European standard of beauty. I know you can exist in any size at any race but that’s something that kinda helped me shift my perspective. Thank you for sharing, it’s comforting to see I’m not alone in feeling this way💕
what a painful reality for so many of us. I sometimes struggle with feeling unattractive because I’m not thin. it also doesn’t help that people literally hurl insults at women with my body type without a thought of how it affects bigger women to have mean comments thrown at them all the time. even if it’s not posted at me directly, seeing or hearing someone speak down on a bigger woman is something i take personally because the woman they’re talking about looks like me. fighting to love your body and do what’s best for it without being obsessing over losing weight as the end result is very hard when the media — and the world hypnotized by media’s romanticization of skinny —feels like it’s working against you and the body you’re in right now.
hitting my late 20s has made some insecurities resurface. i remember being 21 and eating whatever i want, never worrying about not being able to shed the weight. now im adjusting to weight gain in a world that wants me to be ashamed of something natural. its really difficult to navigate.
Thank you for sharing. Being in the modeling industry since I was 16 made me hate my body. Sometimes I accept it but most times I’m constantly wishing I was thinner…and I’m already “skinny” but I want to be skinnier.
I appreciate the fact that you didn’t include the “you’re beautiful the way you are” bs that everyone says. I don’t need to hear it.
This is so real Mikai. As someone who is also going through this currently and who is also chronically online, I must say it’s hard to figure out what your own version of reality is.
I’m also always thinking about being thin, losing weigh, having abs, a small waste, toned thighs. It is now affecting my relationship with food which in and of itself is a huge problem. We shouldn’t have to think too much or make extensive calculations everytime we eat. We should obviously try to eat food made from whole and healthy produce but it shouldn’t be such a mental chore.
I’m hoping with this consciousness, I can get out of that mindset and learn to appreciate my body more, appreciate life more, appreciate food more.
I’m so annoyed.. I wrote a whole message but it got deleted whilst I was trying to copy and paste it properly. Sigh.
I throughly enjoyed this… I think we live in a generation where things are always presented to us on a spectrum. Always on one extreme end or the other. *How ironic I’m on the train currently and these two folks are having a whole conversation about a new thing (probably Ozempic or one of the more medical ones) that poses as a far better option than surgery. He goes it’s not the reduction in life expectancy that worries me but the quality of life (not being able to do certain things as well as before) the fatigue that happened to him, not being able to be active etc.
My thing is that people are literally being lab rats for this particular industry, that have now realised the shift in trend of being skinny or slim. But what are we actually allowing inside of us ? Also everyone is in search for a quick fix majority of the time.
It’s hard not to glamorise certain things especially when that vision of ourselves might have been at points in our lives when we didn’t have much to think or worry about, or we are constantly reminded all around us in one way or the other. Watching Anna Wintour’s documentary on Disney and it really breaks down the effect of certain things behind the scenes but no one speaks about it.
All in all, I think about being skinny too and I would be lying if I didn’t add the inside voice here when I’m having a feast, going, “how greedy”. However on the other hand I remember being in my younger years and learning about balanced diets and gluttony. I think moderation is important in everything but more importantly I think how you feel and what you want for yourself wholeheartedly, should always come first.
It's rather ironic, seeing as in Africa, being thin is considered a sign of financial lack or sickness. You're labeled "broomstick, ol'lady, chewing stick, sugarcane", and all sorts of derogatory terms just for being thin. I had an aunt give me money once for blood tonic because I looked "frail". I've been made to take blood tonic, one too many times but with nothing to show for it. I've been compared countless times with my mates from junior and senior high, who are now "thicker/heavier" than me, endured such embarrassing moments all for the sake of being thin. I used to watch(I still do) models just to reaffirm to myself that there's more of me out there. I feel your discomfort and I truly hope that if you do go on a weight loss journey, that it's for you and not to conform to societal standards. ❤️
I too unfortunately have been obsessed with skinny since ANTM. It's probably genetically impossible to get to the size I want but I've tried every and any *healthy* approach to no avail. I think about it constantly. I check mirrors every chance I get. I pick at my sides. I get jealous of people who are able to achieve it so effortlessly. It's unhealthy but I can't help it especially working in entertainment where there's a new hot skinny artist every 2 business days. Even the clothes I like just seem to fall better when I get smaller. I FEEEEEEL you on this post. But it's like, what now? Especially when embracing the current just doesn't seem like an option
This resonated so deeply with me. After newly recovering from an ed the resurgence of thinness is something that has really hit me. I look back on older videos of myself and think I used to be so disciplined rather than acknowledging how everything else in my life crumbled. But at the time because of how thin I was I felt beautiful like I’d won so nothing else mattered. Now I can feel myself slowly sliding back into bad habits. What I will say was a big revelation that helped my recovery was acknowledging my existence as a black woman. I attended the Wizkid concert back in 2021 and I remember seeing thicker body types, different body types, different forms of black women and I was in awe. Living in the western world and all over social media we’re constantly exposed to the European standard of beauty. I know you can exist in any size at any race but that’s something that kinda helped me shift my perspective. Thank you for sharing, it’s comforting to see I’m not alone in feeling this way💕
what a painful reality for so many of us. I sometimes struggle with feeling unattractive because I’m not thin. it also doesn’t help that people literally hurl insults at women with my body type without a thought of how it affects bigger women to have mean comments thrown at them all the time. even if it’s not posted at me directly, seeing or hearing someone speak down on a bigger woman is something i take personally because the woman they’re talking about looks like me. fighting to love your body and do what’s best for it without being obsessing over losing weight as the end result is very hard when the media — and the world hypnotized by media’s romanticization of skinny —feels like it’s working against you and the body you’re in right now.
thank you for this post! «subscribing»
hitting my late 20s has made some insecurities resurface. i remember being 21 and eating whatever i want, never worrying about not being able to shed the weight. now im adjusting to weight gain in a world that wants me to be ashamed of something natural. its really difficult to navigate.
Thank you for sharing. Being in the modeling industry since I was 16 made me hate my body. Sometimes I accept it but most times I’m constantly wishing I was thinner…and I’m already “skinny” but I want to be skinnier.
I appreciate the fact that you didn’t include the “you’re beautiful the way you are” bs that everyone says. I don’t need to hear it.
This is so real Mikai. As someone who is also going through this currently and who is also chronically online, I must say it’s hard to figure out what your own version of reality is.
I’m also always thinking about being thin, losing weigh, having abs, a small waste, toned thighs. It is now affecting my relationship with food which in and of itself is a huge problem. We shouldn’t have to think too much or make extensive calculations everytime we eat. We should obviously try to eat food made from whole and healthy produce but it shouldn’t be such a mental chore.
I’m hoping with this consciousness, I can get out of that mindset and learn to appreciate my body more, appreciate life more, appreciate food more.
I’m so annoyed.. I wrote a whole message but it got deleted whilst I was trying to copy and paste it properly. Sigh.
I throughly enjoyed this… I think we live in a generation where things are always presented to us on a spectrum. Always on one extreme end or the other. *How ironic I’m on the train currently and these two folks are having a whole conversation about a new thing (probably Ozempic or one of the more medical ones) that poses as a far better option than surgery. He goes it’s not the reduction in life expectancy that worries me but the quality of life (not being able to do certain things as well as before) the fatigue that happened to him, not being able to be active etc.
My thing is that people are literally being lab rats for this particular industry, that have now realised the shift in trend of being skinny or slim. But what are we actually allowing inside of us ? Also everyone is in search for a quick fix majority of the time.
It’s hard not to glamorise certain things especially when that vision of ourselves might have been at points in our lives when we didn’t have much to think or worry about, or we are constantly reminded all around us in one way or the other. Watching Anna Wintour’s documentary on Disney and it really breaks down the effect of certain things behind the scenes but no one speaks about it.
All in all, I think about being skinny too and I would be lying if I didn’t add the inside voice here when I’m having a feast, going, “how greedy”. However on the other hand I remember being in my younger years and learning about balanced diets and gluttony. I think moderation is important in everything but more importantly I think how you feel and what you want for yourself wholeheartedly, should always come first.
Anyways I’ll be at the gym in the mean time 🥲
It's rather ironic, seeing as in Africa, being thin is considered a sign of financial lack or sickness. You're labeled "broomstick, ol'lady, chewing stick, sugarcane", and all sorts of derogatory terms just for being thin. I had an aunt give me money once for blood tonic because I looked "frail". I've been made to take blood tonic, one too many times but with nothing to show for it. I've been compared countless times with my mates from junior and senior high, who are now "thicker/heavier" than me, endured such embarrassing moments all for the sake of being thin. I used to watch(I still do) models just to reaffirm to myself that there's more of me out there. I feel your discomfort and I truly hope that if you do go on a weight loss journey, that it's for you and not to conform to societal standards. ❤️
So so relatable! Thank you for sharing
I too unfortunately have been obsessed with skinny since ANTM. It's probably genetically impossible to get to the size I want but I've tried every and any *healthy* approach to no avail. I think about it constantly. I check mirrors every chance I get. I pick at my sides. I get jealous of people who are able to achieve it so effortlessly. It's unhealthy but I can't help it especially working in entertainment where there's a new hot skinny artist every 2 business days. Even the clothes I like just seem to fall better when I get smaller. I FEEEEEEL you on this post. But it's like, what now? Especially when embracing the current just doesn't seem like an option
hi, thank you for making me feel seen